Friday, 17 March 2017

Thieving Scumbags of Grimsby

Above snapshot is of our tiny front garden, after I had spent nigh on a grand having all the grotty weedy grass dug out and replaced by plastic stuff.

At my age I was fed up with trying to make the REAL grass look like grass, so I decided to make my gardening less strenuous.

We were pleased with the result. The two chaps who did the job were excellent. Well pleased and grateful for their good workmanship.

A couple of nights ago we discovered that some junkie bastards had paid us a visit during the night and stolen the right-hand piece of astro turf. They seem to have made a start on the other side but were either disturbed or too weak to lift it. It was ripped up at one corner and they gave up.

When notifying our brave boys in blue on the 101 phone line (999 being for emergency only) the person taking my call said something to the effect that "Oh, never heard of anything like this before! Yes, hanging baskets and plant pots, but a lawn ... never!"

Seemed like a bit of a joke to the police but they made a note, said to hang on a mo while I get you a crime reference (AC2256552/2017) and that was it.
Didn't expect any more. Just another statistic for their growing list of minor crimes in Grimsby.

Oh well, not to worry. Worse things happen at sea, etcetera ... 

Wonder if the low-life scum will try to finish their nefarious night-time job some time soon? I am getting CCTV installed and hope I can get these bastards on camera. Not that the law will do much other than slap them on the wrist ... ooh no! They mustn't touch them or the do-gooders will be up in arms.

Happy Days. Below, grass-less part.

Image may contain: plant and outdoor

14 comments:

PhilipH said...

Have a nice day, Grimbo scumbags. Enjoy the fake grass, it's not the same as YOUR type of grass, you'll try it anyway, thicko twat.

A Brit in Tennessee said...

Well isn't this one for the books !
I hate a thief.....
The deer are the only ones that steal our grass, now let me catch them trying to steal my garden bench, and they'll be gonners :)
I hope they catch the culprits.
~ Jo

PhilipH said...

Thanks Jo. Sadly there's no chance of finding the culprits. Police don't even bother to do anything with such 'minor' cases, other than to record it and give the victim a crime reference number.

All Consuming said...

Absolute bastards. I'm so sorry, this isn't a laughing matter, you put in hard work making the garden look lovely Philip. There are a few gardens round here that have that fake turf and it always looks nice all year round. The CCTV is definitely the answer. I'd put a sign up on the wall saying you've got the CCTV in operation, if only to stop them stying to steal more and then you having track them down with the (apparently limited) help of the police. Xxx

PhilipH said...

Thanks Michelle. Sadly, the world is full of these lazy turds. That's life; nowt one can do about it. I'd gladly use a pair of secateurs to slowly nip off the tips of the fingers of such thieving twats. Sometimes I feel that some Sharia law is appropriate.
Hope your dental pain has subsided. xx

DUTA said...

Everywhere the same story with the police doing nothing except providing you with a complaint reference number. Prevention is the cure, as they say, so the CCTV could be useful.

PhilipH said...

Yes Duta, you're perfectly correct. Society is splintering more and more as respect for law and order fades away on a daily basis. Children stick two fingers up at the police, at their teachers and sometimes their parents. There is no fear of punishment, of retribution ... spare the rod and spoil the child is not politically correct today.
The future is bleak.

Anonymous said...

The dirty crooks! I've been a regular victim for many years. Do wish they would steal my weeds though; ha ha ha. I'm new to your blog AND I'll be back. To read " Lady in the Van" is a strong desire.

the walking man said...

Here, in Detroit, your wall may very well have prevented the theft another too cheap or lazy to make for themselves a tend less lawn from taking yours Philip. Of course with 90 pound dogs waiting for any noise outside and a very well known angry appearing armed homeowner usually up in the wee hours not much like that happens in the slums of this city or on my property anyway.

Nothing like the sound of a 12 gauge racking a shell to inhibit miscreant scoundrels.

PhilipH said...

Hi Mark, You're darn right, my friend. Trouble is, I've neither the hound nor the 12-bore. My daughter owns to large mastiffs, (Dogue de Bordeaux) and they would scare the shit out of the scummy bastards as they are ultra-sensitive to sound and smell!

Hope you're hanging in over their in the big D.

Snowbrush said...

Since you've not said otherwise, I suppose they're still at large. Have you gotten that camera installed? Perhaps, a sign announcing its presence would deter future problems. I would assume that the people who stole your lawn planned to use it--rather than fence it--and the mere fact that they knew of its existence suggests that they live nearby, and that you might be able to spot it.

PhilipH said...

Hi Snowy. Nothing more re theft of plastic grass. CCTV system caught the person stealing the larger final piece and l gave Mr. Plod a USB copy of it but the chance of catching anybody is 100-1 against. We are resigned to that and that's the end of it. Hope you are bearing up and that you're soon fixed up with your new knee. Best wishes, Philip.

Snowbrush said...

"Hope you are bearing up..."

I'm not bearing up any too well, Philip, given that I dread the surgery at least a few times an hour.

I know that you lost more than your new lawn. I told Peggy about the crime, and it brought up a memory of someone stealing a couple of yard ornaments that she loved. They were in the side yard where they probably weren't even seen from the street, and were almost certainly stolen by a couple of teenagers who were scraping paint off the house next door. We should have told the owner about the theft, but for some unimaginable reason we didn't. Those kids would be in their 30s now, and probably never think about what they did, but Peggy will always remember it, and she'll never forgive them. I would even say that it changed her worldview for the worst, if only a little. I think that sometimes it's the cowardly, tacky, petty crimes that are hardest to bear because the harm that such criminals do is so out of proportion to any conceivable gain. I can understand bank robbery, but dumping your garbage on the side of the street or stealing shrubbery (or artificial grass) in the middle of the night!

roth phallyka said...


Hope you're hanging in over their in the big D.


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